I’m writing this post at 4:30 am, not sure when I’ll post it. I’ll tell you what Deja Vu is. It’s the feeling of having experienced something before. And, that’s something you can’t control. It’s feeling like Chennai has braced up for an eventuality.

The feeling I’m feeling now is fear, helplessness, and uncertainty. I faced the Chennai floods in 2015. I remember the days – my joining date in EY got pushed by a month due to this. There was lights out for a week, and we were eating whatever was edible. I can’t imagine what the less privileged would’ve felt then, and are feeling now – as the rains are relentless, and the winds are howling through the cracks. What I can describe is my experience.

The worst thing about 2015 floods was my entire family sitting in one room, because the other rooms were filled with furniture stacked atop bricks. A flood was imminent. You know things are rough when your parents and brother probe your autobiography out of you. ‘Why don’t you have as many friends as your brother?’, ‘Why do you always read English books?’, and such. I had to shout to make them shut up, and strangely enough, i was not reprimanded for shouting. Maybe they knew. Maybe the saw glimpses of a crack that would only widen up and show my rotten self barely 2 years later. Maybe they chose to ignore it. Maybe they were unaware, and i was aware and i chose to ignore it. Or maybe I really was unaware. Maybe.

This year, around Deepawali, we were notified of intense rains in second week of November. Do you know what us citizens did, without prompting? We stocked up on groceries and essentials. It rained heavily on 8-Nov, and the ones who had lived through 2015 immediately messaged each other asking them to stay safe. We, Chennaiites, are a resilient and proud group of people. Afraid as we are, we’ll suddenly become powerful Papa Bears and Mama Bears when we see someone struggling. So what if our own house is neck deep in water? There are worse off areas, and we’ll go there to help them in any way we can. That’s the spirit which i saw in 2015, and it lives on.

Right now, there’s lights out. The rains are curious this time. Sure, it’s windy and pouring like cats and dogs. But, there’s no thunder or lightning. I find solace in lightning. It gives me a sense of movement. In a world with no watches, i can imagine time moving slowly by counting the rumbling and light streaks. But, time seems to be at a standstill in rains like these. It feels dense clouds have covered the entire horizon in and around Chennai, and they have no intention of abating. For the sake of remembrance, I’ll caption this post with an earlier video i took (pardon the video quality, my #Graywind #redminote4 is 4 years old and doesn’t see in dark well) of a lightning shoot out and dance from the empty void that was the night. That way, probably my memory will fail me in future and I’ll remember this time as a rough time with lightning. I’ll look back and remark, ‘thank goodness there was lightning; nothing worse than relentless, expressionless skyfall’

The temperatures have dropped significantly. I’m shivering, even in a room with no windows. As i type, boats have been deployed in popular parts of the city.

Maybe, it’ll turn out fine. Maybe, it’ll last for another day and that will be the end of it. But the thing is that after 2015, every monsoon in Chennai feels worse. Maybe climate change is real. Who knows? Maybe Earth is round and not flat?