Category Archives: Memories

Life is a Tamasha

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Unfulfilled dreams, facades over facades, and then someone bursts the balloon and you spiral in the air in every possible direction and then fall to the ground — exhausted, empty, and with a scar.


You all know the story of “Tamasha”. Boy grows up listening stories, then realizes that stories are not reality. So, he succumbs to mediocre and blends perfectly as an average working class man. What he does in this pursuit is suffocate his childhood, his dreams, and his own voice. For whom? For the one man he wanted to make proud – his father.


Enter the girl who sees the boy in his wildest true self, and promises never to meet again — after making out. So, years and years later, the girl meets the boy but finds a Product Manager in him instead. Girl rejects Boy’s proposal, and that was the needle which burst the boy’s balloon. How he picks himself up forms the climax.
Imtiaz Ali has done — as usual — a stupendous job out of it, so much so that people went to watch the movie because they saw his name under the “Directed by” tag. Deepika Paadukone (as Tara) is gracious, and Ranbir Kapoor (as Ved) is carrying forward the acting legacy of his ancestors.
Now, myth clearing. Some say Deepika’s role is understated. No, it’s not. The beauty of her role is that she is omnipresent. Even when not sharing screen space, she is clearly visible in the angst and frustration of Ved. And yes, Imtiaz devoted enough reel to show how Tara tried to overcome her urge to track down Ved in this wide world.


Another myth is that Ved had multiple personality disorder. I thought the same way when I saw the movie, but on closer introspection felt otherwise. How many talk to themselves in the mirror? How many go hysteric sometimes? It’s not multiple personality disorder, but the suffocated self-trying to vent its agony. Have you never had a day when you were thoroughly angry, yet had to gulp it all and present a pleasant countenance when meeting a guest, and only venting out your accumulated anger on a hapless folk who did something silly – like drop a glass of water.


Ved, in many ways, is like us. We run so blindly chasing dreams, and we don’t know what we’ll do once we catch one because the dream is not ours but someone else’s. It’s just that Ved is still in touch with his inner true self, and is trying to make peace with it. But, the inner self doesn’t want a compromise. It wants its place back — which is outside, free, at sync with the world.


The theme of Imtiaz Ali’s movies is consistent — be it Jab We Met, Highway, Rockstar, or Tamasha. Imtiaz aspires the protagonist to discover oneself, love oneself, prove oneself and rise above one’s ashes. And A.R. Rahman lends full support to capture the theme and tantalize the listener.


The movie is a eulogy to those who brutally killed their dreams and conformed to the society. Such people are dead the minute their true self dies, they are only buried when they stop breathing.


This movie is also a tribute who braved all odds, even fought themselves to be who they wanted to be. Not everyone can be a zillionaire, but if you are content for even a minute, then that life deserves you.

This movie showed me a brutal mirror. Here’s a movie which preaches what I preach and I don’t follow the preaching myself. No, I’m not waiting for my Tara to burst my balloon. I’m searching for a needle to do it myself.

Watching the Sun rise in Chennai

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I confess. I’ve never seen a sunrise so beautiful, so ‘authentic’ and so ‘fill-in-any-good-adjective-in-your-mind’. The ones who know me would be surprised that I even woke up to see a sunrise. Well, as the good ole folks say, “Where there is a will, there is a way”!

So, the previous night, I had decided that I’d wake up at 4.30am the following day and leave for the Marina Beach. Why the beach? Quite elementary. I had some work there at 6:30am. So, after dinner, I thought “Hey! Why not ensure that you watch the Sun rise! Won’t that be amazing?” And, that’s how it began in the true sense. I nearly fought with my mom and insisted that she wake me up at 4:30am because I believed too well in myself to let me wake myself up. “4:30am” was running all over my mind till the time I dozed off.
You won’t believe me. Even I didn’t. I woke up at 4:15am — all by myself. No alarms. No mom. No dad. I did it all by myself! I was so happy that I dozed off till 4:50am and let my mom wake me up. Once I woke up again, I combed my hair, took all I needed and made my way to the bus stop.
Catching the first of the buses, I plugged in the headphones and listened to some good music. “Suprabhatam” was the first.

Time did go fast, and in a blink (maybe a hundred more) I was in front of the beach. Marina Beach — the world’s 2nd longest beach. It had been such a long time since I had seen it. For a few moments, I just stood there. I breathed the fresh, clean, salty air in. As I slowly exhaled, I emptied my lungs to its last brink. I breathed in all the air I could breathe and enjoyed every bit of it.
I noticed the clouds. Oh, they were mesmerizing. Like streaks of gray paint, they covered the sky from north to south. I saw rays of red light amid the clouds and I got the signal. Sun was to rise any moment now. I walked along the beach to find a perfect spot to witness the sun rise. I saw that there were many people around — walking, brisk-walking, jogging, sitting, and sleeping. One could clearly tell which tribe one belonged to — whether the poor/homeless (who were sleeping on the footpaths) or the middle-class (with their jogging shoes on) or the rich (with their i-pods, cycles, helmets, and jogging suits on).

I saw this guy called Mahatria. I wasn’t sure if that was the guy I saw, but a quick Google search showed that it was indeed him. This reminded me of something which I heard long ago, “if you’re in Mumbai, go to Juhu Beach at 4am and there are chances you’ll find 5 well-established personalities”. I saw buffalos munching on the grass in the open gardens. I was observing everything and everyone around me, not missing the eastern horizon. Some people were queerly looking at me, for I was walking on the pavement but was looking at the horizon to see if the Sun has risen.

My 6 rupees of bus ticket was not a waste. My mom’s efforts didn’t go in vain. I was not disappointed. I witnessed one of the amazing sunrises in years. The last sunrise I properly witnessed was in Burhanpur. Now was the time. From my glasses, I adjusted my vision to that bleak little spot where the red-light rays were escaping with all their speeds. Technically, 3*10^8 m/s.
I was filling my lungs with air in hopes to capture the moment with all my senses. I recalled the day when C.V. Raman discovered the Raman Effect while looking at the sky and Sun. I realized my place in this world as I witnessed an inkling of fire at a distant edge of the horizon. Equipped with my camera, I started taking shots. The Sun, ever so punctual, rose from the ocean waters like a Phoenix from its ashes. With every blink of my eye, the Sun grew bigger and bigger until I saw that it was above the horizon. I felt immense joy. I felt gratitude. I felt awe.

I stuffed the phone in my pocket and replayed the sunrise in my mind. I wondered how fast the Sun had risen. All this while, I tried hard to not let y analytico-logical self-dampen my awe with scientific explanations. I was humming “Wonderwall”, as the people around me were oblivious of the sunrise. One occasional male bowed his head in the direction of the Sun in reverence and continued jogging. I nodded my head slightly to Sun, as if to say to him, “On time!”
I scaled the entire beach. Earlier, I was looking at the horizon to see if the Sun had arisen. Now, I was looking at the Sun in awe, like a child does. I noticed how it hid partially behind the clouds. The Sun’s rays were finding its way out of the clouds such that it seemed that the Sun had a unibrow and was drinking tea from a saucer. I smirked at nature’s pun and smirked over everyone who missed it. I noticed a big flock of pigeons sharing their daily cuddle before going for buildings, branches to do what they do — coo.

I glanced at the beach one last time for the day. The sparkling waters, the gushing waves, the seemingly endless sand, the near absence of humans. I decided it won’t be my last. I ran towards the shore like a child would. Oh, the ecstasy! Ouch! An empty conch shell pinched me hard. Limping the rest of my way, I finally reached the shore.

The Sun’s rays were dancing on the waters. The waves were washing my feet, an act of intentional pun. With every wave washing my feet, my pants were getting wetter and sand was sticking in my sandals. And that made things a little less good. I turned my head sideways to see if anybody’s there. After ensuring that nobody was watching, I quickly took a couple of selfies when I realized that I was not alone. I was being watched, from all 3 directions!

Crabs. Those little crabs the size of my middle finger were also gazing the Sun and the waters and were watching me intently. Maybe spying on me. One quick movement from my end and they’d rush to their hideouts. I realized that they were walking sideways, and that too fast. For ever I tried to catch at least one crab. So what it bit me. I really wanted to touch them, just once. It then ‘dawned’ on me that not everything in this world is at my disposal.
I lay down on the sand. In a few moments, the crabs were back doing what they do best — gaze and stare. I gazed along with them. It was wonderful. “I’m not afraid, to take a stage, everybody. . “, my phone was ringing. Mom called. She wanted to know when I’ll be back. “An hour”, I said.

I took out my phone and reviewed the shots I took. I zoomed on the sunrise shot first. I realized that the Sunrise was indeed surreal. It was as if I’ve taken a photo of an oil painting — the clouds were crimson red, and the Sun was just above the horizon. I shrugged, “That isn’t bad!” I looked at the other photos and I was happy about it. The smartphone was indeed a worthy companion, I thought.
“These are the days I’ve been waiting for”, I hummed. I let it all sink in my mind and heart. Contented, I made a move. The crabs were gazing, the Sun was shining, the waves were crashing, and everything was doing its job. And they were happy doing it. “What about you?” I asked myself. I am yet to answer that question.